How Stupid Could I Be
by birdie83earth
Summary: Songfic. Toph is in love with Aang but he's marrying Katara. Will there be a way she can solve this without hurting herself in the process? Taang. Will be a two-shot; I just haven't had time to finish writing the second one.
1. Stupid

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own the Avatar. Darn.**

**Song: "Stupid"**

**By: Sarah McLachlan**

**Read on…**

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_**Night lift up the shades  
let in the brilliant light of morning  
but steady there now  
for I am weak and starving for mercy  
sleep has left me alone  
to carry the weight of unraveling where we went wrong  
it's all I can do to hang on  
to keep me from falling  
into old familiar shoes**_

_Sleep, Toph. Sleep_, I commanded of myself as I lay beside Twinkle Toes in _his_ bed while Katara was gone for the month. She was at the South Pole visiting her Gran-Gran. Aang would've gone but he had his "Avatar duties" to attend to. That's what we were calling it now.

I hadn't had a good night's sleep in over two months and it was killing me.

_How could I be so stupid_, I chastised myself. _Aang is Katara's fiancée. She's _my_ best friend. I shouldn't be doing this_. Aang rolled over and hugged me tighter against his bare chest. I felt a strain my chest at the feel of his skin against mine. _I_ loved_ him, that's why I'm doing this_. No matter how wrong I felt this was I couldn't help it. I was weak. I starved for Aang, not Sokka or anybody else, just Aang.

Gently so as not to wake him up, I unraveled myself from his hold on me and put on my shirt. This make-out session had been intense and after it was over we had fallen asleep together.

_How did it end up like this?_

I sat down on a chair that was in front of a window. As quietly as I could I opened the window to greet the crisp morning air and I thought, _I don't deserve to be happy._

_**how stupid could I be  
a simpleton could see  
that you're no good for me  
but you're the only one I see  
**_  
_**love has made me a fool  
it set me on fire and watched as I floundered  
unable to speak  
except to cry out and wait for your answer**_

Anyone with half a brain could feel the tension between Twinkle Toes and myself when we were in the room together, but not Katara, oh no. I had been living with her and Aang for over two months and she still couldn't figure it out. She was so freaking oblivious to everything that it annoyed me. Why couldn't she just find out already and put me out of the guilt that tore at my heart and soul every time Twinkle Toes touched me? Last night it grew tenfold until I felt a black hole replacing my heart. It was a vacuum that left me feeling empty. The only time the hole settled was when I was with Aang.

But that _was_ the problem. The more time I spent with Aang – no matter how much it repaired me – left me feeling just as empty when I left his side.

When I first told him that I loved him (that was after our fifth meeting), I hugged him tight and waited for his answer.

"_Aang?" I had asked after two minutes in painful silence. _

"_Toph," he had said quietly. "This isn't right." _

_Tears pricked at my eyes and I fought them back. I tried to let him go but he hugged me tighter, not wanting to let go. _

"_Toph, don't let go. Just hear me out." He paused and I gave him my assent by squeezing him once. "This isn't right because…I love you too much. I don't think I can tell Katara that I want to cancel the wedding just for you. She doesn't deserve that. She's saved my life on more than one occasion and I love her too. This is so confusing because I want you and her in my life. Something about you…I just know that you are an amazing woman and I love you. But I can't do that to Katara. I can't." _

I held the tears back for his sake and my dignity but this time I couldn't hold the tears back as they flowed relentlessly down my face in silent sobs.

_**how stupid could I be  
a simpleton could see  
that you're no good for me  
but you're the only one I see  
**_

_**everything changes  
everything falls apart  
can't stop to feel myself losing control  
but deep in my senses I know**_

I stood up and walked over the dresser beside his bed. I gently laid down my headband on his bed. I turned around and jumped out the window as silently as I could. I told myself that I was doing him a favor; that I was doing _Katara_ a favor, but the truth – whether I admitted it out loud or not – was that I was running away again.

I had to. Aang was going to marry Katara regardless of whether he loved me or not. Maybe I'd go back to my parents and marry that suitor that had been put on hold for me. I wasn't supposed to love the suitor but maybe I could get to know him, for my parent's sake. It sure as hell wasn't for mine.

I stomped the ground to let myself out by a doorway in the wall that I had created, but before I entered the street I turned back towards the house. _His_ house. Wiping the tears left on my face I stood up straight and tried to salvage what little dignity I had left. Aang was going to have to make a decision; otherwise he could lose the both of us forever.

After a deep breath, I whispered to the morning air, "Goodbye, Aang. Until – if ever – I see you again, goodbye."

I left, but not before hitting that guilty spot again with my thoughts.

_**How stupid could I be…  
**_

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**A/N: **

**Wow. Intense huh? **

**Tell me what you think. This was just a spontaneous thing that popped into my head. I love this song and I figured I could make it apply: TAANG style! =]**

**I may make this a two-shot, but I don't know. **

**If ya'll review it maybe it'll happen…**

**Hahaha!**

**Love: Lola of the Peaches **

**=]**


	2. Falling Slowly

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own the Avatar. Darn.**

**Song:**

**Falling Slowly – Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova**

**Read on…**

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_**I don't know you  
But I want you  
All the more for that  
Words fall through me  
And always fool me  
And I can't react  
And games that never amount  
To more than they're meant  
Will play themselves out  
**_

Toph. I missed her so much. When I saw her headband lying right next to me I instantly felt a pain in my chest that almost crippled me. After knowing what it was like to spend a whole _day_without her…I knew that I had to come clean to Katara. I just couldn't live without Toph. It's as plain and simple as that. But how was I going to break it to Katara?

A month and a half without Toph was becoming increasingly morose. Katara was beginning to notice how down in the dumps I was and every single day, for that 6 weeks, she asked, "Are you feeling okay, Aang?" and every day I answered, "I'm fine." But I wasn't; I was _far_from fine. I missed her so much and I knew that I needed her here with me if I was ever going to be "fine". For the whole 6 weeks I was trying to come up with a way to break it to Katara, but every time I tried to tell her about Toph and me, she hit me with those baby blues of hers that melted my heart and I chickened out.

But today was the day I was going to tell her. I swore to myself that I was not going to chicken out and I was going to keep that promise.

Katara was currently in the kitchen fixing dinner and I asked her to meet me in the living room. She wiped her hand on a towel and followed me as I paced around the living room.

"Aang, what's wrong?"

"I have something to tell you."

"About what, Aang?"

I looked into her eyes and I almost chickened out but then Toph's smooth ivory face and sparkling emerald eyes clouded my mind and I knew that I had to come clean.

"It's about that time when Toph was visiting." I took a deep breath before continuing. "I need to get to the point; Katara, you know I love you…but I'm in love with Toph."

_**Take this sinking boat and point it home  
We've still got time  
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice  
You've made it now**_

I waited for the yelling and tears but all I got was silence. Katara's face was showing no emotion as she stared me down.

She sighed. "Is that it? Couldn't you have saved the dramatics for later, we're about to have dinner." She got up and left me with my mouth open. I tried to come up with something to say but my mind was far gone. Slowly, I began to regain my composure and I ran back into the kitchen where she was chopping up the vegetables.

"That's it? No yelling at me? Why aren't you yelling at me? I cheated on you…with Toph. Your best friend. I didn't _mean_ to but one thing lead to another and I couldn't stop myself. I feel so ashamed and I know that you don't deserve that! You're a better person than me. I'm so, _so_ sorry."

"Oh, I know you've been cheating on me. I was just wondering when you were going to come clean."

This fact left me dumbfounded. "How'd you know?"

She turned to look at me with tired eyes. "You've been depressed ever since she left. It wasn't that hard to put two and two together."

_**Falling slowly, eyes that know me  
And I can't go back  
Moods that take me and erase me  
And I'm painted black  
You have suffered enough  
And warred with yourself  
It's time that you won**_

"I am hurt, Aang. I mean, I thought you had morals, ethics. But at the same time you are a guy and you got carried away by your emotions; I get that, but I'm going to need some time to myself to see if I can forgive you. You really hurt me, Aang."

"And I'm really, really, extremely sorry. From the bottom of my heart–I'm sorry. I'm just a stupid guy who got carried away by my stupid hormones and who's really ashamed of himself. You deserve someone better than me, Katara." Tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Aang," she said in a soft tone, "please leave. I just need some time to myself to come to terms with the situation." She took off her engagement ring and placed it in my hand. Do what you have to do, Aang."

She turned around but not before giving me a kiss on the cheek. She wiped some of my tears and went back to our room…her room now, I guess. I put out the fire in the kitchen because I didn't know how long she was going to be in her room and I'd be a bad person if I just let her sit in her room while a fire could burn down the house. But what was I saying, I was already a bad person for hurting the both women I loved. I knew that one problem could fix itself with time, but the other had to be solved by me.

So, I hurried to the Bei Fong's estate. I mean, I didn't know where Toph was but I figured that's where she was. It had to be.

After traveling for a few days on Appa, full speed with little rest for me and a lot for the big guy, I finally made it to the Earth Kingdom. I was practically flying in my seat on Appa's head with the excitement at seeing my beautiful angel. I was expecting to get hurt physically by her because I had waited so long, but there was one thing that I was not expecting and had me falling off of Appa in denial. Of course, I landed safely on the ground once I figured out that I was falling. I quickly made a survey of my surroundings.

I was in the street in front of one of the huge walls that protected the estate and I had to recheck my surroundings twice before I came to terms that this was the right place. From the air, it looked like there was a wedding going on…but…it couldn't be…Toph's wedding. Could it? No, it had to be a cousin or some other relative. Yeah, that's it.

I climbed over the wall and saw something that made my heart break into pieces.

Toph was in a wedding dress.

_**Take this sinking boat and point it home  
We've still got time  
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice  
You've made it now  
**_

I heard the priest say "Does anyone have any objections as to why this couple should not wed? Speak now, or forever hold your peace." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This was wrong! Why was Toph marrying this guy? Did she love him? For her parents–for what!?

I heard someone yell out, "Don't do it, Toph." It took me a moment to figure out that the voice was coming from me. All the guests were looking around for the owner of the voice, but found no one.

I airbended myself right in front of Toph, got down on my knees and begged for forgiveness.

"Please, Toph! _I'm sorry_. I'm sorry for _everything_ I did; I'm sorry for everything I put you through emotionally. Please, _forgive me_. I made my choice, Toph, and I chose _you_. You and only you! I'm so sorry that I made you wait, it was wrong of me to do so. I was the one who was wrong; you and Katara were the victims of my stupid mind. _Please_, can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

I could tell that Toph was concentrating extremely hard on breathing in and out.

_**Take this sinking boat and point it home  
We've still got time  
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice**_

Suddenly, Toph ran like the wind out into the street via a whole she made when she destroyed one of the walls of the estate. I heard her mother and father yelling her name and I heard yells and screams but I soon left those behind as I ran as fast as a hurricane after Toph.

After ten minutes of feeling her vibrations, I suddenly saw her running a few feet in front of me. Her hair was falling out of her bun behind her and her white dress was somewhat ripped and dirty towards the bottom.

I yelled out to her, "Toph, please wait! Talk to me! Toph!"

Her footsteps wavered for a second before she took off running even faster than the first time. I was faster than her and soon was on her heels. When I finally caught up with her she turned to the left and ran towards a small forest. I had to stop abruptly and turn back towards the direction she was running in.

I found her sobbing against a tree and instinctively I went towards her.

"Don't touch me," she sobbed and the sound was hurting my heart.

"Toph, I'm sorry. But I left it all for you–just _you_, Toph. Please, forgive me!"

She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "You're lying. Aren't you? You're just saying that to get back with me but you're really with Katara, still, aren't you?" she accused me.

"No," I said as tears started running down my own face. "I'm really not with Katara anymore! I left her; I finally told her the truth and she let me go. I _really_want you, Toph! _Just you and only you_. Nothing and no one else _but you_! Please believe me!" I pleaded.

My words only made her cry even more as I hugged her tightly around her body and I let her wrap her arms around my torso, sobbing into my chest.

We stayed like that for about an hour before she calmed down enough to speak.

"Are…you sure?" she asked quietly.

I hugged her tighter against me, "Of course! I told you that I _loved_ you and I want nothing more than to be by your side – for as long as we both shall live!"

"I thought you were lying. But you're not. It just surprised me that it was actually true and it took me a while to come to terms with it. I really do love you, Aang. I'm so sorry for running away." She hugged around my neck and planted a kiss on it.

"It's okay. But you shouldn't be sorry. _I_ am sorry for everything I put you through. It wasn't right or even ethical. _I am so sorry_!" I hugged her tighter again.

"I forgive you, Aang. And I do want you in my life. Just…please."

"I love you. Don't leave me ever again, Toph," I whispered against her ear.

"So…now what?" she asked after a moment of comfortable silence.

"Well, you _are_ in a wedding dress so why not? It's what I've been wanting for a long time."

She smiled at me. "You're so cheesy."

I smiled at her compliment. I pulled her face up and kissed her nose, then her forehead, both her cheeks, her chin.

"What are you doing?" she laughed as I kissed the top of her head.

"I missed you. I wanted to kiss you, but I didn't know if you'd let me kiss your lips just yet."

"Well, take a risk and find out," she said and put her hands on my face as she pulled my face down into a kiss. This kiss was different than all the others; this one was running deep inside my core like molten lava searing us to each other.

And I knew that we'd never be separated again.

_**  
You've made it now  
Falling slowly sing your melody  
I'll sing along**_

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**A/N: **

**Sorry this took me a while to finish, I had so much crap to attend to before I could finish writing this. **

**Well, I hope you liked my two-shot!**

**Please R&R!**

**Love: Lola of the Peaches **

**=]**


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